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Author: Crooked55 Subject: Need some help
Pool_55
Junior Member


Posts: 17
Registered: 04-29-2010
Location:

posted on 04-29-2010 at 15:01 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
Need some help

I am on here because I don’t know where else to go for advice, I can’t talk to family about this stuff it’s too embarrassing and therapy is too expensive but that can be embarrassing too. Yesterday I came home from work and relaxed as usual just watching tv and having a drink like anybody else would do after working all day

She comes home and automatically is in a bad mood, its like every single day that she comes home she is pissed off and to me it comes off like she is just pissed at me, not whatever happened. She has a stressful job and everything but it is just ridiculous that she would just keep being so mad all the time.I have even tried to talk to her and tell her that its just wearing me down every day.

Since she is so pissed off at everything she looks at me sitting on the couch relaxin and gets more angry because the kitchen is messy or theres clothes everywhere. I understand that I should be trying to help out because she works more than I do, but I already do that and when I make extra effort I don’t see a change in her

We are not married but I just need help in this relationship we live together and we have been together for many years I love her very much and would never want our relationship to end but I need to figure out a way to get back to the calm, kind, loving relationship we had years ago before stresses and work and life got in the way. I feel like I make a huge effort to be happy and positive and loving but I don’t feel like I am getting it in return

Like I said I have brought this up to her but she only gets angry and defensive when I talk about it. It turns into a horrible cycle and it just keep happening. Help!!!!!!
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Crooked55
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Posts: 13
Registered: 04-22-2010
Location:

posted on 10-13-2010 at 10:27 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
whoa, slow down...

I would not agree that getting her pregnant will solve this problem. In fact, having a child together may be the worst decision you could make. If you are not close to 100% sure that she is the perfect one for you, don't try to force it by having a kid with her.

You said that you tried to talk with her and it just gets worse, which I understand. Here is my question: What have you done to help her be in a better mood when she gets home? You say you will be sitting on the couch when she gets home, clothes on the floor and the kitchen messy. If you are on the couch when she arrives home, and you said yourself her job is stressful, I would assume that her job is more stressful than yours. If that is the case, you should have no hesitation to clean up the kitchen and those clothes. If you really care about her, you should acknowledge the difficult time she is going through and do what you can to make it better for her. That will make her happier, and in turn, make you happier.

People in relationships get lost really easily. Instead of thinking about what you can do for her, you are thinking about what she can do for you. Instead, try shifting that thought process so that you guys are more often thinking about what you can do to make the person you love happier. It sounds simple, but it really does work.
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